Article by Suzanne Lambeth

Managing diabetes is a challenge.  It requires close attention to diet, home blood sugar testing, and for many people, daily medication.  Unlike other “acute” medical conditions, diabetes doesn’t go away with treatment.  The treatment for diabetes is ongoing—each and every day—with no breaks and no vacations.

Even with strict attention to a diabetes management program, blood sugar readings are sometimes unpredictable.  They may jump dramatically or drop suddenly, or even vary significantly from day to day with no apparent explanation.  And when efforts to make wise food choices, exercise regularly, and take medication correctly do not result in the expected outcome, it’s easy to become frustrated and lose motivation.

We all want our loved ones to live long and healthy lives.  And watching someone you love not take care of him/herself is difficult.  But it can be hard to know how best to help.  There’s a very fine line between being supportive and becoming a nag.  No one wants to be a nag and no one wants to live with one.  How then, do you get someone you love to do what they should?

The most important thing for friends and family members to realize is that you cannot change someone else’s behavior.  You are not responsible for the choices they make, and you are not the diabetes police.  However, finding positive ways to provide support can improve the odds that they will take care of themselves. 

First and foremost, educate yourself.  No advice is less well received than the advice of someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Learn all you can.  If possible, attend medical appointments and education sessions with your loved one.

Secondly, make a commitment to your own health.  The dietary and exercise recommendations given to people with diabetes are healthy for the whole family.  It’s unrealistic to expect your spouse to avoid high-sugar or high-calorie foods if they are easily accessible and everyone else in the family continues to eat them. 

For many, a commitment to exercise is easier to stick to if they have an exercise buddy.  Take walks together, plan family bike rides or find active projects around the house.   Exercise does more than just help with blood sugar control.  It strengthens the heart, increases muscle tone and burns calories  - things that are beneficial for everyone.

The most important aspect of providing support is communication.  Talk to your loved one about what things you can do that would be of help to them.  Encourage them to talk about their struggles, their successes, their hopes and their fears.  How has the diagnosis changed the way they view themselves and their future?  How has it changed your views?

Above all, avoid being judgmental.  You can never really know how difficult it is to live with diabetes and how much energy it requires – day in and day out - to manage it.   Try to provide an atmosphere where it’s easier to make healthy choices than unhealthy ones, but recognize that at times everyone makes choices that are not in their best interest.  It’s called being human.  And a diagnosis of diabetes doesn’t change that.